


I Have Always Loved You

by deadweeb_17



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 30 Day Haikyuu!! Writing Challenge, Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Haikyuu Week, I Ship It, M/M, Mentioned Akaashi Keiji, Mentioned Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, One-Sided Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadweeb_17/pseuds/deadweeb_17
Summary: Its been years after high school. Now Bokuto is the CEO of Nissan automobiles. But past feelings still held him back. He had to face them yet once again. He wasn't ready. Not yet.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	I Have Always Loved You

Bokuto stared out of the long glass window of his office, his hands hanging lazily by his sides. His eyes scanning the huge city of Tokyo, which was shining under the starry night. His mind travelled through different dimensions of his memories, reminding him of his high school days when he used to be one of the Aces of his favorite sport, volleyball. He wished to play it sometime again but his busy life wasn't really being fair to him. 

A soft knock on the door brought him back to reality as he hollered a "Come in" to the visitor. He wasn't supposed to have visitors at this point of time. The door opened to reveal a bed-headed gentleman in red suit with a large grin plastered to his face. Bokuto blinked twice to make sure he was seeing alright. Then a huge smile appeared on his face as he rushed towards his visitor, wrapping him in a violent hug. 

"HEY HEY HEY KUROOOO!" he yelled. "Long time no see!"

"Same as ever, aren't you, dumb owl?" Kuroo said, laughing and patting his back. "Loud and obnoxious, as always."

Bokuto pulled away and frowned. "That's not how you greet your childhood friends, do you now, black kitty?"  
Kuroo smiled. "Its been years we've seen each other. You have no idea how glad I am to see you again, Bokuto. Schedule has been so busy, I don't even have time to take a dump these days."

Bokuto cackled. His best friend had not changed a bit after all these years. Kuroo has always been this blunt about everything and that's what he likes about him.

"I know exactly how you feel, bro. At least you managed to keep contact with everyone. I am embarrassed about the fact that I didn't even try to do so." Bokuto flushed a little, running a hand through his hair, as an act of nervousness.

Kuroo laughed and patted his shoulder. "Don't be like that, owl. I haven't contacted anyone in our group either, except for Kenma."

Bokuto gave him a sly smile. "Kenma huh? I knew you both were meant for each other. Childhood friends and—"

A loud smack followed by a "ow", both of them cracked up. Kuroo had his cheeks reddened. "It's nothing like that. We just happen to live together."

Bokuto gasped. "Live together? You can't be serious!"

"Stop reacting so much, you big jerk!" Kuroo says, reddening up more. He slumps down in one of the chairs. "Its just been a year now."

"Right." Bokuto says, pushing a glass of water towards Kuroo. "Here have some water. It will help lightening up your reddened face."

"Than—" Kuroo started saying, then realizing he picked a pen from the stand on the table and threw it towards the white haired male. The latter burst out laughing. 

After a short conversation, they decided to have dinner together at a restaurant nearby. Bokuto directed his secretary about the leftover work and then left with Kuroo. 

"I was wondering, why Nissan?" Kuroo asked, while digging into his pork cutlet. 

"What do you mean?" Bokuto asked, slurping his ramen. 

"I mean why didn't you pursue a career in sports?" Kuroo inquired. “You loved volleyball. Its really unusual for you to do something out of the way."

Bokuto stared down at his food, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore. Then looked up at Kuroo, giving him a small smile. "Guess my preferences changed over the years. I really like my job."

"Do you really?" Kuroo asked rather too quickly. 

The truth was Bokuto still regretted his decision of not pursuing a career volleyball. After graduation, he almost suffered from depression for a period of time. He couldn't believe the fact that he wouldn't be able to play with his team anymore. His team became his family. He wanted to play again. With everyone. Especially a certain someone. 

"You liked him even back then, didn't you?" Kuroo asked, softly. 

Bokuto grew silent. He finished his bowl and ushered the waiter. He gave his card to him. 

"Bokuto!" Kuroo said, trying to get his attention. 

"Yeah..."

"Don't tell me..." Kuroo's eyes widened. "...you still like him?"

Both the boys walked out of the restaurant in silence. Bokuto really wanted to change the topic. He didn’t wanna talk about him right now. 

“You should visit the old neighborhood once in a while.” Kuroo spoke, softly. 

“W-why do you want me to do that?” Bokuto stuttered.

“You know right your mom’s still there?”

“I-I do.”

“Then do it, dammit. Go meet her. Spend some time out of your goddamn business schedule as well, you big baby!”

Bokuto sighed. Kuroo was right. He hasn’t been home in years. He did talk to his parents once in a while and they did nothing but blabber about him finding someone and get married. He was determined not to involve himself into romance for the time. Or so he tried convincing himself. 

“Fine. I’ll do it.” he managed to say. 

Kuroo’s eyes lit up. He hugged him tight. “That’s my man! Mrs Bokuto is going to be so happy!”

“Yeah yeah…” He said, rubbing his neck. Kuroo gave him one last hug before bidding him goodbye. On that note, Bokuto drove back to his apartment. 

~

Bokuto stood in front of his house, staring and wondering why did he decide to return to his old neighborhood. Right. Kuroo forcefully convinced him.  
“That black cat…” he muttered running his hand through his hair. 

“Bokuto?...” 

Bokuto stopped in his tracks. He didn’t want to turn towards the all too familiar voice. He wasn’t ready to face it. Not yet. Just not yet. 

“Bokuto is that you?” 

Well, damn it all.

Bokuto turned towards the voice and his lips left just one word. One word that took all his breath away. One word that forced him to face all his courage, all his suppressed feelings. 

“Akaashi…” 

As the name left his mouth, he felt like he could have just sunk into the ground and get lost forever. Akaashi. Akaashi Keiji. His face was as serene as always. His expression was peaceful as if he had no worries of life. He could have stared at him for the rest of his life without being bored. The most important thing he felt was how his heart started picking up the pace and how heated up his face felt. No. He shook his head. He had to put himself together. 

He grinned widely. “HEY HEY HEY AGGKAAASHIII!! Fancy seeing you here!”

The black haired boy had the faintest smile. “I should ask you that. Its been years you’ve been home.”

His voice. Bokuto could have stood there and listened to him for an eternity. 

“Guess I decided to drop by and see my old parents for a change.” He laughed softly. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Oh I was just—”

“DADDYYYY!!!” A little girl, not more than five years old, ran up to Akaashi, grabbing his pants lightly with her little hands. A chill ran down Bokuto’s spine and he felt something shatter inside his chest. Suddenly, he wasn’t feeling a so good. 

Akaashi bent down and patted the head of the little child in comfort, telling her soft things. She seemed to be crying. Akaashi wiped her tears and looked back at Bokuto. “Sorry fo—”

“I’m sorry I need to go.” Bokuto managed a small smile. 

“It was nice meeting you, Akaashi.” He stormed off inside his house, leaving a stunned Akaashi outside.  
Bokuto slammed shut the door behind him, his hand on his mouth, trying to catch his breath. His heart hammered against his chest. But this time it was not due to excitement. Somehow it hurt. 

“What was I thinking?” he muttered, his face in his hands. “Its been years. Of course, he wouldn’t be alone.”

“Koutarou?” the warmth in the voice almost made him tear up. Bokuto wrapped his mother in his arm, tears of joy and remorse streaming down his eyes. “Mom, I’m home.”

His mother caressed his head, pulling him closer. “Welcome back, my sweet baby.”

After a nice ‘welcome back’ dinner, Bokuto finally got to rest in his old room. He looked around and memories flooded his mind. The walls were still covered with posters of his favorite volleyball players. There was one picture of him with his team as well. He smiled, tracing his fingers along the surface of the photo.  
Akaashi. 

Bokuto remembered how nervous he was when he first came to Fukurodani Academy. He was one of those introverts who spoke nothing more than asked. He marched up in their gym and bowed gently.

“My name is Akaashi Keiji. I am from Mori Junior High School. I play volleyball and my position is of a setter. I am looking forward to play with you all.”

Setter. Bokuto was enlightened when he found himself a setter. All he knew he could have this new kid throw his sets for him. Fortunately, Akaashi agreed to accompany him to his extra practices. Soon Bokuto learnt that Akaashi suffered from social anxiety. That’s why he spoke less and avoided crowds. But since he had to interact during game, he owned up. 

Anyway, Bokuto had grown attached to Akaashi. Having him around was everything Bokuto wanted. Eventually, he accepted his feelings for the setter. But soon after graduation, things became hard. He had no excuses to meet up with him. He couldn’t tell him how he felt about him. And now after all these years, he still felt the same way. 

Bokuto sat in his bed, holding his face in his hands. He recalled the sudden meet with Akaashi. He couldn’t actually believe he had a kid. He picked out his phone and texted Kuroo. 

Bokuto: [Hey, I think I can’t stay around long.]

Kuroo: [Why not? :( ]

Bokuto: [I just don’t think I can.]

Kuroo: [Hey man, are you okay? You don’t sound so good.]

Bokuto: [Maybe because I’m not.]

Kuroo: [Alright. Tell me what happened.]

Bokuto ended up explaining what happened and how he ran away like an idiot. He couldn’t face him anymore and he had a strong feeling that he is still in the neighborhood. 

Kuroo: [YOU DUMBASS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU RAN OFF?]

Bokuto: [I’m sorry. I just couldn’t face him. Plus, he…he has a kid. I—]

Kuroo: [I wish I could smack that brainless head of yours now. How are you so sure that its his kid?]

Bokuto: [That’s because you don’t call a random stranger “daddy”, do you?]

Kuroo: [ *sighs* This isn’t the Bokuto I know. The Bokuto I know doesn’t run away from his feelings. He knows to face it head on. He never gives up.]

Bokuto: [I know. But this is hard.]

Kuroo: [You’re not going anywhere. Akaashi stays around there and you will meet him again. So you better talk to him next time you meet him.]

Bokuto: [Fine. But I’m leaving if what I think is true. I just can’t take it anymore.]

Kuroo: [Fine by me. Just give it shot this last time.]

Bokuto read the last text and tossed his phone aside. He laid down on his back, spreading his hands to his sides and let out a heavy breath. 

~

Bokuto didn’t really go outside much after returning home. Since Akaashi lived in the same neighborhood as him, he tried his best to avoid him at all cost even though Kuroo asked him to face him. 

One evening, while returning with groceries from the local store, the unavoidable happened. Bokuto feared that he couldn’t avoid him for long. It was impossible. 

“Bokuto!” Akaashi called out as he noticed him. 

Bokuto grinned widely. “Hey hey Akaashi! What’s up?”

“You went to get the groceries it seems.” Akaashi said, pointing to the bags he was holding. 

“Y-yeah.” Bokuto said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Since I’m here, mom asked me to do some chores.”

Akaashi nodded. An uncomfortable silence settled in. They just stood there without saying anything. 

“So…” Akaashi broke the ice, which surprised Bokuto. Akaashi wasn’t the type of person to talk much. Then again, he didn’t know him that well after all these years. “How long are you going to stay here?”

Bokuto looked him in the eye, which made the butterflies in his stomach flutter faster than it was before. “I uh.. I don’t know. I was just taking some days off. Its exhausting.”

“I thought you were never going to retire from volleyball.” Akaashi said, softly. “It was…it was surprising.”

I didn’t want to! 

“Yeah.” Bokuto ran his fingers through his hair. “It was for me too.”

“Then why?”

For you! 

“Preferences changes over time, you know?” Bokuto said. After a short pause, he decided to ask the question he was trying hard to avoid. “What about you? You’re settled right now, aren’t you?”

Akaashi looked at him like he had grown two heads. He tilted his head. “What do you mean ‘settled’?”

“Settled with your life, I mean.” 

“Yeah…I guess so.” Akaashi lips bore the faintest smile. Bokuto smiled back. He needed to leave. If he stood there facing him a bit longer, he would definitely lose it all. 

“Its late.” Bokuto said, patting his shoulder. “I gotta go now. Night Akaashi.” 

Bokuto walked in the opposite direction. 

“We should meet up.” Akaashi called from behind. Bokuto stopped. He turned to look at him. He noticed Akaashi seemed to be fidgety all of a sudden. “I mean since you’re around, we could hang out and catch up.”

Akaashi surprised the white-haired male every time they spoke. Akaashi, the guy who suffered from social anxiety, was asking him to hang out. Bokuto sighed and gave up on the running. He had to face him. It was inevitable. 

“Yeah sure.” he finally said with a smile. 

With that, they exchanged numbers and parted ways. 

Eventually, both the boys started hanging out and Bokuto felt good too. Even though he was not sure whether it would be good to be around Akaashi in the beginning, he seemed to have adapted quickly. He planned to spend as much time as he could with Akaashi because he knew he couldn’t stay with him forever. The thought made me frown. 

Akaashi nudged him with his elbow, which brought him back to reality. They were visiting the park nearby. The black-haired boy looked at him worriedly.  
“You okay there, Bokuto?” he enquired of him.  
Bokuto smiled at him and nodded in response.

~

“Yeah, Bokuto here.” The worried boy said into the phone. Early in the morning, one weekend, Bokuto got an urgent call from him office. It had been two weeks that he had come home and he got lost in the past. That’s when all the trouble arrived. He had to return because his manager was having trouble with the work load. Bokuto did mention that he wouldn’t be returning for a long time but work can be unpredictable. 

“Sir, you have to come back real soon.” said his manager, Kai, from the other side of the phone. 

“Kai…” Bokuto yawned, scratching his head. “You are my manager for a reason. I did tell you handle it for a little long.”

“Yes sir, but…” the manager lowered his voice. “The big alliance with Mitsubishi draws near and the CEO of Mitsubishi wants to hold a meeting with you on Monday.”

Bokuto face palmed. “I thought we had a month. Can’t we postpone it?”

“Actually it is the postponed date.” Kai said, “He asked for you the previous week. I had changed the date but he refuses to postpone it further. Please sir, you have to return by Monday.”

What a pain! Bokuto’s happy days seemed to have exhausted. He needed to get back to work. But he wasn’t really enthusiastic to let go of Akaashi yet once again. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He forgot that he doesn’t have that right anymore. Akaashi had more important matters to deal with. He quickly fished out his phone and texted him. 

Bokuto: [Hey Hey Hey! Akaaasssshiiii!!!]

So many years had passed, his way of addressing didn’t change a bit. Bokuto smiled to himself. Akaashi didn’t miss a beat and replied quickly. 

Akaashi: [This brings back memories :) ]

Bokuto: [Of course it does! It’s my signature style. Only I can pull that out!]

Akaashi: [Anyway, what did you wanna talk about?]

Bokuto: [Right, so I have to leave soon. So do you wanna meet up tomorrow for the last time?]

Akaashi: [You sound like you won’t come back anymore.]

Bokuto: [I might not.]

The next message took a bit longer to come. 

Akaashi: [I see. Okay, where do you wanna meet up?]

Bokuto: [Park beside school at 7pm tomorrow, sounds good?]

Akaashi: [Okay.]

Bokuto figured Akaashi didn’t really seem happy about this meet up. He wondered why. He got out of bed freshened up and sat down to write an e-mail to the CEO of Mitsubishi about the meeting. 

Bokuto decided that if they really have to part ways, they could rather do it where they used to spent the most of their time during their high school days. Of course, after the practices, they wouldn’t be allowed to stay at the gym for late hours. So Bokuto would have Akaashi set some balls at the park beside their school. They would end up tired, soaked in sweat, lying under the huge starry sky. Akaashi never complained and Bokuto loved to spent time with him. Therefore, he felt that if he spent the night at the very familiar place, it could pacify his feelings, even if a little.

Sunday rolled in a little too quick. Bokuto really wanted the day to pass slowly. In the evening, he pull over a casual jacket and jogged outside. He took in a deep breath and made his way towards the park. He passed the different stores and decided to get something for Akaashi. But he didn’t know what he liked. So he ended up buying two ice-creams, for both of them. When he reached the park, he saw Akaashi was already waiting.

“Oi! AGGKAAASHIII!!!” Bokuto hollered, which made Akaashi turn towards him. It was already dark and the city lights brightened up the surroundings. There weren’t much people in the park though. 

Bokuto handed him the ice-cream and started eating his. They sat on a bench, close to the main street, eating ice-cream in silence. 

“So this is it?” Akaashi said, softly, throwing away the stick in the dustbin nearby.

Bokuto looked up at him, his face glowed under the dim light of the street. He smiled gently and Akaashi his expression seemed to change a bit. “Why? Did you want to spend more time together?”

“Its not like that.” Akaashi replied, looking down at his hands. 

Bokuto stared up at the sky, filled with millions of stars. “Doesn’t it feel like déjà vu? We used to be here all the time, when we played volleyball. Its been so long since.”

“I really wish we had more time together.” Akaashi finally said. His voice seemed strained as if he had been holding himself back. 

Bokuto looked at him, confused. “We did spend the last two weeks pretty well, didn’t we?”

Akaashi looked at him and this time, Bokuto noticed. Those eyes tried to convey thousands of unsaid words and Akaashi wanted them to pass through. 

“D-do you…really have to..leave?” Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes were holding back tears.

Bokuto’s eyes widened and without thinking he wrapped the other boy into his arms, so tight that he felt that if he let him, all the world might dissolve and he would be lost forever. 

“Akaashi I—” Bokuto sucked in a deep breath, “I don’t want to…I never would—”

He pulled back and grabbed Akaashi’s face. “I never wanted to leave you in the first place.”

Tears streamed down Akaashi’s eyes, they were swollen. His face flushed. He looked away. “Bokuto I—” he sniffled, “I don’t how long I had to lock away these feelings but I can’t hold it anymore.”  
Bokuto’s heart raced.

“But now…” Akaashi continued, wiping his eyes, “If I continue this, I’m going to fall apart.”

Bokuto smiled, a tear rolled down his face as he cupped Akaashi’s face. “You won’t. Because I am here to hold you together.”

Akaashi looked at him, teary eyed. “But—”

“I love you, Akaashi.” He finally breathed out. “I always have.”

Akaashi looked liked he could fill up a pond. He hugged Bokuto tight and cried softly. “I love you too.” he said into his chest. 

They stayed like that for a while and then a sudden realization hit Bokuto. 

“HEY HEY HEY!”

It startled Akaashi as he pulled away. “What?”

“We can’t do this!” Bokuto panicked. “You have a child!”

Akaashi tilted his head, as if trying to process his words. “HUH?!”

“That kid back then, it yours right?” Bokuto asked. 

“You can’t be serious!” Akaashi scoffed. “I’m just 21. Do you really expect me to have a kid at this age?”

“She called you ‘Daddy’!”

“Oh.” Akaashi said, sighing. “She’s my elder sister’s kid. She lost her father in a car accident when she was two. I used to visit her quite often during that time. Since then, she called me ‘Daddy’ because somehow she felt I looked like him. She wouldn’t call otherwise. I didn’t mind. She’s my niece and I want her to be happy. That day, she was visiting me and I was showing her the surroundings.”

Bokuto was listening to him intently. He put a hand over his eyes, turning away. “I’m so stupid. I assumed whatever I saw.”

Akaashi shifted close. “Its okay. At least we are together now.”

The boys held on to each other and enjoyed the warmth. 

“Hey Akaashi?” Bokuto asked, softly. 

“Mmhm?” 

“Would you wanna stay up late and watch the stars together with me for the rest of my life?”

Akaashi’s face was shaded but Bokuto could feel the warmth he gave off. He smirked. “So is that a yes?”

“Y-yes.”

One word. But it hit Bokuto right in the spot. He wished he could stop the time and treasure this moment forever. He held onto the quieter boy never to let go. He was happy that he could finally have the one whom he wished for so long. He could have left everything to be with him. Even though, he had to depart the next day, he was happy. Satisfied. Because all he needed was one person and he was there. Right there beside him.

“I finally have you.” Bokuto said, smiling. 

“You do. And will always.” Akaashi replied, as his lips collided with Bokuto’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for a those who read this short fanfic. This was my first time. I hope you liked it. ♥


End file.
